I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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