R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
