He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
