We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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