My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
