I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
