am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Randomize
