I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
