Already got asked if we're dating
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
