Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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