Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
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She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
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Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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