I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
