That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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