she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
