you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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