I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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