Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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