Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize