Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I touched a dick in church today
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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