Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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