awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
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Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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