What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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