why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
