Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
time to smoke my breakfast
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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