youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
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The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
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He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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