Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
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Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
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Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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