She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
