hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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