I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
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yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
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Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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