I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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