i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
