I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
