Ambien. No doubt about it.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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