420 ftw
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
