You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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