I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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