ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
