If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
