Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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