I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
