True but thats because hes a fetus.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
