So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
