so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
