I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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