We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
