no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
