His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
