if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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