the day after is always just damage control
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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