thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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