If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
he shaved USA in his pubs
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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