My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
