i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
