There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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