how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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