new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
