Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
