Sry I called you an 8
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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