I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
