I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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